Tuesday, November 15, 2011

REVIEW: Envy by J.R. Ward

Envy (Fallen Angels #2) by J.R. Ward
3 Floozies

Ugh . . . I need a witness! It can be quietly, in your own mind as to not upset your J.R. Ward group 'friends", or to keep the obvious from your lips but can someone please back me up!!

Ward's faux ghetto diatribes have become the most annoying thing since parachute pants. Hammer was not badass for strutting around in 25 yards of fabric and J.R. Ward's characters are not fiercer for trying to sound like they're "Straight Outta Compton", leave that to NWA, m'kay!

Here are some examples:

CPDers - really, just "cops" from Caldwell Police Department

Diving into his databanks - thinking, or maybe thinking really hard

"When the screaming pain faded a little, Veck took another run at remembering . . . only to slam temple-first into the land of Excedrin and blackout drapes again" - see what I mean?

" 'I can't remember anything after he showed up, and that's the God's honest.' " - How much harder would it be to add "truth" in there?

"Next door, on the far side of a connector, two deep male voices were doing the back-and-forth, in the key of frustrated-to-shit." - typical overuse of the hyphen

"This goin'-back-to-Caldie-Caldie-Caldie wasn't so much the issue." - As someone who comes from California and grew up listening to Biggie I'm slightly offended.

But really, when an author is capable of such poignant content as,
"Not all mirrors were made of glass, and you didn't always need your reflection to take a good, hard look at yourself. The truth was something you wore sure as the suit of flesh that bound and gaged your soul until you were set free, and you couldn't ignore it forever."
it's frustrating when a majority of the text is gibberish such as,
"Not a lot of Food Network going down in here: all he had were a couple of empty pizza boxes on the counter and some Starbucks dead solders clustered around the sink."
Starbucks dead soldiers? Come on Ward! Might as well complete the  nonsense and call the pizza boxes pie coffins.  Crazy thing is I only went 8% into the book, I honestly did not feel like rereading this crap.

I've heard many times and strongly believe just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Just because I can write every other word in italics doesn't mean I should. Just because J.R. Ward can do the whole hypen-overload-of-the-brain-to-make-something-hard-to-expain-easier-to-understand thing doesn't mean she should. Just because Nike, Van Hausan, Starbucks, Ralph Lauren (and who every else was plugged) wants you to promote their product in your book doesn't mean you should! Just because "Black and Yellow" contains those specific colors doesn't mean only Steerler's fans can like it. Ok, that went a little too far, but I want a red and gold song, damn it! As Ward would say, The Niners are doin' big thangs up in herr, off-the-chain-link kinda thangs, yo!

Ok, I'm back . . .

Don't believe me? Do you want more examples? No problem. Anyone with a copy can do so for themselves, here's how: Flip through your book and you will easily located groups of words separated by hyphens, meant to convey the attitude of a hip hooligan but ultimately makes them look like:

Seth Green from Can't Hardly Wait Remember him? Chester Cheetah, roar!

Or any of those Jersey Shore douchbags!

Thankfully J.R. Ward graciously allows us wait a year between books. That gives me time to unwind, and prepare myself for all of the obnoxiousness.

Ok, but to get more on point. I loved the story. I can not wait to see what happens with Sissy and Jim, as well as how Adrian will cope going forward. I love a series that builds and expands with every book until you are compelled to read all you can get your greedy hands on hoping for a taste. I can't wait for the next installment, I am invested in this series and eagerly await more! For as wrong as J.R. Ward can be, she is so right when building a relationship. The characters HEA develops so beautifully, J.R. Ward should have 'wonderful romance guaranteed' tattooed on her arse, because it's the truth! Not to mention the fighting and gore scenes, so captivating! This could have easily been a 5+ Floozy book . . .

That being said, I will not be the first in line for any future Fallen Angels books until J.R. Ward limits the "ghetto"ness. I relish books I don't have to dumb myself down to read, therefore, put them above books such as this.

And as Veck would say: Wow. Yup that's all I have on that one.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...